As a child I was right a lot. My scientific hypothesis reasoning is it's because of my giant brain. I'm trying to be as humble as I can about this but the truth is I knew a lot for being naive and of youth. Did I understand the entire world? No. The problem was I bowed to authority, even if I knew in my heart I was right. I was afraid of standing up for myself. 

Of course, this all changed when I became a teenager and realized the absolute bullies of who certain people are and their thought in their ways being the only ways, because they've been bullied into it too. Counting into that, most of these people are ignorant fucks, only happy with their world around them and their ways being the only way. This is all lies they say to themselves, of course, and this is why we have so much trouble in our current day to day instead of doing what seems counter-intuitive and standing up for our own free thoughts to create that Utopia envisioned.

The reason I'm here with you, is because I want you to know the truth, to do things the correct way, to know the the wrong way, and the way ideas are presented and the salesmanship that comes with it. This is versus the way you want to do things and the way you need to do things. 

There is not one correct way for anything. There is no one path or one answer. A couple hundreds of years ago, it was considered okay, and it was also legal to murder someone dead if it wasn't being in a ruthless manner. Today it's still considered 'not the best' but it's legal if you can prove it the effect was justified by the cause. What I'm saying is that things change and it's time for a leap of evolution.

The old ways were for the old times. These new times need new and ever-evolving thoughts and action. Action by you, and tribal discussion by all of us on what is okay and what is not. 

Standing up for what you believe starting right now is just the thing to do, and it's what I want to discuss with you today. 

When I was a child, I was considered a sharp mind. Sadly, I was quite timid. I can say I have still have both qualities, though I've learned to train my timidness to be only when necessary. I've learned from experience and mentors to speak my mind about subjects when needed.

I'm not expressing to go blab about all problems right away. That does nothing anyway. What I mean is to know when to stay quiet or when to shout. Knowing what's important and what to let go. Something to be passionate about gets me into action and I begin speaking intensely about that subject. 

Going back to my previous statements, I know what I know by perfecting and constantly re-adapting what I've learned. I've tried out many variations of testing to see what works best and now that I know what works best for me, I stick to it, and every once in a while trying something new to see if it works better than last time. 

If you do need to stand up for what you believe, make sure it's something that is important and not narrow in scope. No one cares more about opinions more than their own. You HAVE opinions and you must let people know abut them. Unless it's a dumpster fire and you're in the dumpster. Then get out quick!

The reason I tell you this is I remember being a child and not standing up for myself. My problem was not having anyone to talk to about those possibilities. It took a long time for me to become this fighting machine that stands up for myself and others that can't stand up for themselves. 

I think about (in it's triviality) how many people that I could've helped when I didn't know how to help myself yet. I now pump as much work as I can into every day because I can make some time back. Not all. Maybe it'll be enough to make a difference. Then I realize that others could be taught this a lot sooner and we wouldn't need races of catching up on time.

So I'm telling you right now: Speak up even if you'll find out you were wrong. At least then you'll be able to learn from it. I had to find out myself and through so much trial and error. Now, hopefully, you'll have less trial and error. And that's the whole point of life is to see the generations before you, study them, examine what they did and didn't do and how it effected them. Once you've done this, you can find your own path and not get burned so much in the process. And then maybe one day your next generation will make faster corrections to their mistakes and move even faster towards the goals. I wish I had someone to tell me these things when I was younger.

My question to you is: What do you tell yourself you would do if you could do things differently this time around when it comes to standing up for yourself?

Don't ever pay retail on anything over $200, $100 if you know how much things actually cost and know profit margin scales. At the end of this episode I'm gonna tell you what I know and when and how to try your skills at getting better value and living like everyone else but for near at wholesale cost. No need to thank me. I want you to work less and live more. This is partly how I do it.

I've been in sales in one way or another since my adult career started at 18 when I stopped drinking so much (I started when I was 11 breaking into my parent's liquor cabinet but that's another story) and after multiple tries because peer pressure is a thing, I quit smoking cigarettes and marijuana and focused on health, career, and finding love. At this point in life I had a few choices: Young and full of energy so I could focus on keep getting my head messed up and eventually look forward to doing nothing except that, or work and bring in those big bucks or go to college or go on as many dates as I possibly could to find the love of my life. I chose the last 3 cause I'm selfish. But the real story is what I saw that first Christmas holiday season at Walmart.

I was doing some shopping like I normally did: I went in to buy 1 thing and ended up buying a shopping cart full of things. Damn, all that retail marketing and my phat wallet and not knowing what to do with having so much money all the time. Anyway, the actual line was something like 15 minutes to get through. I now realize this is why I am not a shopper anymore. I hate lines with a passion. But as the line got closer to the cashier, I was now in front of a man with a handful of items. The cashier beeped and booped all the guy's stuff and then he pulls out a Tickle Me Elmo doll. For those that don't know. Tickle Me Elmo was the hottest item of the year. Every child wanted one. And these were not cheap. They were close to a hundred dollars back then and news articles were saying these were going for upwards of a thousand dollars on ebay at the time. Anyway, the guy calmly brings the doll forward and says "Hey there was no price on this." He waited a moment and then proceeded "I'll give you $20 cash for it." My eyes went wide. I thought this guy was crazy. You can't do that at Walmart. Their prices are the lowest already and it's not a garage sale environment. The cashier agreed. She said "Sorry we'll have to put this back if it doesn't have a price." The guy calmly, said "Okay, fine $25." I feel like I fainted from what his repsonse was. What gall! What courage! The cashier looks at the line. Looks at the man. And says "hold on." She gets on the phone and whispers a few things into it and hangs up. A manager, and the managers always wear different collared shirts than the t-shirt and vests the employees wear, the manager comes up to the cash register. "What seems to be the issue"? He asks. The man calmly points at Elmo and says "There was no price on this, but I'd like to buy it for my kid. There was no other one left and I looked all over for a price tag but didn't see one. I'll offer you $25 right now." :laugh while saying it: The manager shook his head no and said "I'm sorry that's just impossible." I smiled. Finally this whole ordeal is over I can pay for my things and go home! The manager continued "It's worth at least $60." My face dropped, I shook from what I had just heard. This couldn't have been real. But I just watched because I was frozen in the marvelousness of the deal. The man shook his head and said to the manager, "$60 sounds too much, and look the box is ragged. I'll tell you what, let's do $40" The manager took a split moment and said "Okay." He went in the register, coded whatever pin code and put the Elmo in the man's bag. The man paid and left. I moved up to the queue and looked at the cashier in amazement. She just shrugged and bagged my items while I looked back to the 20 people in line behind me, none of them cared. I cared though. 

This man probably knew Elmo was worth at least $100. He got it for more than half off retail. And more than 40 times less than the shills on eBay. His kid got what they wanted and it didn't break the bank. With only a small conversation this was achieved. I want you to think about that next time you pull out your credit card or debit card and pay without knowing that anything can be negotiated anywhere and anytime. Ask for what you want. You'd be surprised how often you can get it.

Does this mean to negotiate every time? No.

Does this mean to rip people off because you know how to negotiate? No. Negotiating is all about everyone winning. Walmart got a sale right then and there and the man got the toy for his kid.

Does this mean to be a jerk? Where in my true story I just told you was anyone a jerk? Don't be like that. The moral is to ask for what you want, not what you think you deserve. The universe listens. 

I'm gonna tell you what I want right now. I'll make small negotiations to have it get done. And I won't be a jerk about it.

I want to be in your life. As much as you'll have me.

I want to take care of you. As much as I can without hurting myself.

I want to always have you know how much I love you. 

I want consistently be someone that can be trusted.

I'd like to rule the universe. Oops, I better cut that one out in the editing room.

I want to write, tell stories, and make movies and be able to support those around me that I care for.

I want all of us to be in the best mental, physical, sexual, soulful spaces.

And I'll continue to do this until I cannot.

So what does cost actually mean? What wholesale costs are associated with? I'm gonna keep this simple. Wholesalers charge at cost plus 20%. Middleman does something to bring it closer to the final customer and charges 20 percent. That $100 item you bought costs about $20 to produce. Middle man gets a 20, retailer gets 20. So $60 tops. Making 40% and divvied up doesn't sound fair right? Well, that's why you negotiate it down to 80% of cost, if at all possible. Even if you did this once a month, that's an extra 240 a year that you keep and use as purchasing power. That's it. It's simple really. Numbers are everyone and in nature and with us. Use the power of numbers to your advantage. 

 Generally. Let's say a cup of coffee. You grow the beans, you pick the beans, you sort the beans, you roast the beans, you add water. What did it cost you? Let's say 3 cents an hour. So as a wholesaler you charge 3 cents plus 20 percent for profit. That's about 4 cents an hour plus cost of materials and labor so let's round up, way up. 30 cents an hour. We're assuming you did all that work for one batch of coffee. So 30 cents and you sell it to a coffee shop. The coffee shop should only be charging 30 cents plus 20 percent right? That's where most cups of coffee were one dollar for a time. That's until coffee companies realized they could charge more for perceived premium value. They use the same beans as everyone else. They aren't personally growing these beans. Never have. And I mean ever. It's cheap hired labor that raises their cost from 30 cents to about 32 cents. And then they charge 3 dollars. Do you see what happened here? They put new spin on their perceived value on an existing product and just rebranded and made a higher price seem worth it. Their profits rose from 20 percent to 300 percent profit with just some signs that say fresher coffee. This is an example, of course, but it's the reason I am mean about paying retail for anything. These people never did anything of real value and their prices went up. They claim it's cost of living. But our own cost of living has gone up but we haven't gotten a cost of living upgrade too. This is the problem with exploitation. And the only way to combat is negotiation for what you want. Not to end on a down note, but if you don't fight for yourself, nobody will. They say they will, but the ones that say they will, are too fucking busy taking care of their own and surviving. The costs of coffee that i just told you about, is similar in what the costs of a lot of retail is nowadays. If one person overcharges and gets away with it, then everyone follows suit.

Everything you have counts. Don't let it slip it away because that's the norm of people right now. Things will get better but it takes time and during that time you need to keep as much that belongs to you.

My question to you is: Have you ever in hindsight felt you should've negotiated better? What was it and what would you have done differently?

Guess what is annoying? Being high-maintenance. Your life is already hard to deal with, yet you wanna be choosy about some bullshit like your diet? GTFO with that!

Music is definitely needed. It can soothe, it can get you wired.

Do we really need to only eat steak and vintage wines to be happy? Duh, no.

Look at this stock photo I'm using. It's not even enough to really make someone full. And I'm sure it's like $8 with tax. Screw that. Let's go to Taco Bell.

If someone has a shit attitude, dump their ass to the past part of your life. They suck!

Did you know that the body can eat a lot of things and not get sick? Accidentally ate moldy bread? Ehhh, your body is used to clearing that kind of stuff out.

People throw away way too much. Many things can be reused or made into other things. Let me show you how!

We all like to eat. But when is too much and when is it just good to scarf something down to move onto more important things in life, like TV?

Well, I'm about to tell you. 

The best religion hasn't been invented yet, because I'm busy writing TV shows and movies and blogs like this one about - oh shoot, it's META!!!!

Which one is the right one out there? All of them and none of them! Make up your own damn mind and stop following everybody else, you ninny.

If you run around from thing to thing and then to "relax" you run around from place to place and call that a vacation, I have news for you: You are overdrawn and are running on fumes.

Let's focus on how to work on these "time chasers" in life.

Work: Do NOT work more than you should. Even if you love your job, you need to work less. Oh you won't make as much money? Who the fuck cares?! You deserve better.

So... I'm a father, but I know some mothers.

Some of them are good, some are bad, some don't deserve the opportunity to raise their own children and some have no business being in charge of children. The same for some fathers. But we're gonna talk about the good ones for a bit here.

The ones that do the best they can, even if they can't, they still try. The outcome isn't a thought, it's the need to do what is best for the future generations.

No matter if we all die because it happens, but that we live the way we want to.

Death is around us but is it actually a sad thing? Or is it a moving onwards? None of us know, but we can act like it matters in the end. Or is a new beginning?

Decide for yourself. Die if you have to. Live if you must.

So baby daughter: For the most part, your dad is a metalhead. Started off with Metallica, Pantera, and moved onto the heavier stuff. These days I listen to a lot of Hatebreed, Slayer, Thy Art is Murder,  As a long time former part-time musician that never quite got anywhere and tonedeaf singer (but not in the shower and in garage bands of yesteryear) my music tastes have evolved to different genres almost as soon as it began and it's never quite stayed dormant. Right now, my newer genres are 1960s and 1970s Classic Soul Radio. 

So I met someone new recently and we both have a big thing for heavy music. You know the stuff that Beavis and Butthead headbanged to, and a TV network called MTV made a show about these Headbangers late at night too.

What this got me started on was when I had mentioned a band and this person just nodded. And when this band is mentioned, if you like them. Most people lose their shit. It's ride or die type of fans of them.

And I'm okay with them not being a fanatic. If they liked every single piece of music I liked then I'd never be introduced to newer music to my ears. I was introduced to alternative rock bands and I was able to show my appreciation of British bands I like, and we talked a lot of different metal acts. It was nice to be appreciative of each other's differences within the same similarities scope. 

So with that moment of thinking about myself and other people, and my own art likes, guilty pleasures, and dislikes, I realized that not everything can be liked by everyone, but it must be respected as artistry.

So what band was I talking about? Slayer. Slayer is one of the better known and loved metal acts by the community as a whole. Now what happens if the majority of people love Slayer? It's kind of looked down upon if you don't like them. They're the Beethoven of metal.

I'm not a fan of Linkin Park, Nickelback, anything new of Metallica or Kanye West. It's not that they're not artists. It's just that they moved on or I've moved on in different directions and tastes.

And the same goes for film and TV shows. What I enjoyed as a teenager was Tarantino films but now I can't really enjoy his new movies. And I used to worship the ground he walked on! It's not that his new stuff is good or bad - all art is just there, it's just not what I care for anymore. What do I care for? Now we're talking. I care about smaller films. I care about character studies. Big explosions and tons of guns shooting is not for me anymore. I want depth. I want old man stuff. Give me a middle aged man or woman in trouble and or trying to figure out life and that's exciting to me. Because it's real too.

I'm a Van Gogh fan. One of my memorable days was being able to see the actual painting when visiting New York City. I once met a man that absolutely believed Van Gogh to be a hack. I felt offended. I remember. He went on about Van Gogh's pencil drawings being much more intricate than his sloshy paintings. 

The stupidest thing in the movie industry is people not voicing their opinions. I worked on some really awful shows when I first started. You'd hear people saying how bad it was but not to say anything out in the open because this person's cousin worked in the makeup department and you could get fired. I'm  not interested in being that censored. If something isn't great, it's okay. Nobody needs to be perfect and then terrible critic reviews and nobody goes to see it because it sucks. If it sucks it sucks. People need to be okay that and people need to be okay with me not liking certain bands artists, and films.

Maybe there's a part 2? Is there  a part 2 to life?

Is there an answer to life? 42 is the answer.

I sort of used to think there was an afterlife, these days I tend to think that I won't be the same person I am here. If I were to dream, and please dream with me, because these are the best times to dream and dream big. I can see being every color of the rainbow and every spectrum of light and darkness out there and I can see myself as every kind of person or animal out there. 

When I look deep into my mind I don't see a guy born in Oklahoma with hairy forearms. I see a fire infinitely burning, a beam of light bursting far and wide as bright as I wanna be seen, an energy of infinite resources constantly moving within the universe and all it encompasses, only resting for a flicker of a moment to enjoy the surroundings of myself.

I'm human, yes technically. But that's just the shell. Like a lobster or a turtle. There's so much more than just what protects my exterior. 

So the meaning of life. Who knows? Who cares? It's irrelevant. I'm here, you're here. And if or when I'm gone, maybe this voice will stay and remind us of who we were in the past. But I know that I'm a man of the present with some time towards the future, because it's still happening right now. 

Why push myself to find meaning, when it's insignificant in the small scope of beings, but at the same time it's already here, in everything I do? Everything you do too. 

Maybe there's be a part 2. Maybe a part 3. Mabye part infinity. Enjoy your life. No matter how hard it is, there's still beauty out there. You wanna pay attention to something? Look at the ocean. Watch the skies and the stars and the Moon. You know my suggestion was to name you Moon? Because I look at it and I think it's just a rock, but also something very magical.

My question to you is: How would you explain the meaning of life?

I screw up once in a while. Okay I screw up sometimes. Okay, okay. I screw up on the regular: Money, relationships, work, almost every single aspect in life I've failed at in one way or another. And I'm okay with it. I've realized that I am a failure sometimes. If I was perfect, call me God. No no no that's way too formal. Just call me the Omnissiah. Warhammer 40k fans will enjoy that one!

Truth is I'm a failure right now. I have a kid, you. And I don't quite have a career. It's a developing career but it's not something I can actually take care of you with. I'm counting on your mother to try to understand me. And if I completely fail that, I'm gonna rob a bank or become a farmer and live off the land. You need food? We grow it now. Or break into Transcontinental Bank of International Deposits.

Just kidding. The amount that I'd need would make it necessary to rob the same bank every month. And that's just unsustainable. Maybe I'll just continue pushing for using my voice and words to pay your bills. 

This podcast was the creation byproduct of failure. Your mom and I failed at trying to be in a relationship together. But we succeeded in not hating each other, and actually being around each other, kind to each other most of the times, while working on making a future for you. The fact is I realized I wouldn't be around you for a while. And then I thought what if I'm never around? And then I thought how will I be able to talk to you if I'm not around? That's when this podcast became a reality. I knew I was doing it as a backup contingency. I had to give you the opportunity to know your dad loves you and works on something every week for you to have. My vision for this is to let you have an entire lifetime of my good, my bad, and my ugly. Also, that's a great series of films if you get a chance to see them do it!

Look, completely ruining something is not what we hope for. But it happens. I remember working my dream where I got to talk movies all day and night long when I worked at Blockbuster Video. My first day they told me to go make popcorn in the back to hand out to customers. I went in and at home I just press 3 minutes and there you go. So I did exactly that and went out in the front to talk more movies. Well, 2 1/2 minutes later the entire store is smoky and smells like burnt popcorn. I felt like I ruined my favorite job in the world. Turns out there's a popcorn button on this microwave. I was so embarrassed. 

At a job interview at a tech company, when I was asked what I wanted to do in 5 years, I answered I wanted to be a joke. I think I meant to say No joke I wanna be a top-level guy. So I failed spectacularly and did become a joke. The manager laughed and said I could easily do it! hahaha I did get that job but it was absolutely mortifying how my inner thoughts and hilarious ideas get spurted out by my big mouth instead of saying something admirable. 

Failure is trying. Learning from failure is more important than not failing. Let yourself and your kids fail. Character building. Fail upwards if you can. 

Meet others that are failures. See what they're up to. Which ones have given up and which ones like me are inspired by their own tales of despair and continue on? There's something noble about it. So I guess I lead by example when it comes to messing up considerably. Don't just screw it all up and then sit on your duff for the rest of your life. It's too important to keep trying. Keep screwing it all up if you have to. Don't aim for that, of course, but aim for the stars. So what if you land on the moon instead?!

I'm not saying I'm a total pea-brain. I don't try to mess up. But I don't destroy my own vision of myself because I goofed. Don't be afraid of totally fucking things up. 

My question to you is: If there was something that you were afraid of doing because you didn't want to lose, mess up, or be considered a failure, how would you go about treating yourself if you knew that in doing so you'd become the person you were meant to be?

To anyone out there who's been told and doesn't believe that they are overly critical: I urge you to keep listening. I'm not calling anyone out. But I do hope that anyone listening can gain some knowledge and apply it to their day to day, and with a little continued support to have better days ahead.

So we all have attitude. Some more than others. I wanna talk about good attitudes and bad attitudes and how it reflects and how it's perceived and how it changes your life. I'm not saying that having a good attitude will make you a better person. I'm saying that looking at things with the power of positivity can make gradual changes towards your life for the better. Will there still be bad things happening to you or your friends and family? Yes. That's unavoidable. You can't change that. But you can change how you react to bad things happening. That can make the best things in life happen.

You have so many opportunities. It's what you do to deal with them. If you just squander the opportunities they'll still be there but you won't access them and they'll just be dreams. Make your dreams a reality. But if you don't work with intention then your dreams are just dreams. You're gonna be doing a lot of dreaming. So your attitude is really what makes your way of getting around in life what it is. And here's the rub: Your upbringing can affect your attitude. If you've been screwed over in your childhood, there's a chance your adult life's attitudes are how you are now. 

If you find that you are negative about a lot of things, or just assume that's just how it is, then you might have been wronged in how you were taught or observed others doing things. Let me tell you I met someone at a networking mixer and he invited me to a bar to have a drink and talk shop more. We got there and I asked for a beer. I asked for a price list and every beer was $11. I looked over at my new friend and said "Hey, the beer here is expensive." And his response "Yeah, that's L.A. though." I didn't say anything because I wanted to be nice. I ordered the cheapest beer for $8 and that was that. From then on anytime I met the guy I'd have to steer us to the places I knew: The real L.A. - not the fancypants one that charges $11 for an alcoholic beverage, but one that says $5 is fair. Here's the thing. When I first moved here, I didn't know better. And here's another thing. That guy was new to the city. He had only been here a few years. He hadn't figured out that if he didn't change his attitude and stop accepting everything is how it is, he would probably have stayed here and not given up. He moved away a month ago. He told me he was going back to his family's home and would be living there and going back to school. His attitude was defeatist and he was defeated. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. Listen to him. He was never giving a bad attitude. He had shit roles in his early movies and he embraced it. He did the best he could with what he had and succeeded. Regardless of what you want to think, it's really what you push yourself to do and how you react to it. 

You didn't get the promotion? You got yourself into a bad relationship? You can counter these types of things. See life as opportunity. Not as what's handed to you, like my acquaintance who just said Fuck it, $11 dollars for a beer is fine. It's never fine to overpay, it's never fine to accept there's only one way to greatness or divinity, it's never fine to not change your life. 

Some of us out there are narcissists. We are out there. It's real. What does this mean? It means some of us can't take criticism, we can only give it constantly to feel good about ourselves. It's not a desire to hurt, we think we're helping. But it's not helpful. A lot of times this criticism is self-directed but we don't realize it. It's because we're so myopic that we can't see a month down the line of our choices. So we just do what we can for right now, not even for tonight or tomorrow, but just a bump on a log. What can someone that has narcissistic tendencies do? 

Reverse it slowly. Look at yourself and be okay with yourself. Realize nobody is perfect and it's okay to be you. Love yourself. Love others for their imperfections. That's the start. There is no end. It's just loving and accepting yourself and others. There's always room to improve yourself once you've realized that you're great already! The improvement takes time and a little effort. It's a marathon not a race. My buddy Ahmadou keeps saying that!

This is so important. The worst thing you can do is just sit around hoping for things to pan out. And if you are listening to this right now and not making little drops in the bucket towards progress then I don't know what to do for you. You NEED to be doing something, anything towards your goals. There's a reason 80% of the world has to be taken care of by the top 20%. It's because people as a whole are lazy or unmotivated. It's up to me to guide you to be motivated and to show you what you're capable of. That's part of this podcast. It's for my daughter, but it's for everyone. Everyone can gain something by this. This isn't bullshit. It's real. It's realer than real. It's gospel. 

Anyone that is a complainer and a ne'er do well is sitting around waiting for things to happen and they're listening: Doing the bare minimum and being in essence the 80%. Yeah, oh you have problems? WELL SO DO I. The difference is I make little drops in the bucket to fill it. Everything is doable. Somethings take a few steps. Some things take years and some things, the truly revolutionary steps take decades. This isn't a sprint. It's a marathon.

You need to realize we all have pain, we all have problems, we all have something that is an obstacle. What separates the men from the boys what separates the women from the girls what separates the humans from the animals is that we use our minds and our willpower to do better. Use your mind and make something out of your life. This isn't rocket science. 

My question to you is: How are you dealing with people around you who have distinctly rude attitudes towards you and your happiness goals?

What do I think of you? The last time we spent together was 5 days in Arizona. Your grandma and grandpa were out of town so I was invited to come help your mama out so she could get some errands done. I woke up every morning, with you laying next to me in bed. I immediately changed your diaper and I'd say 3 out of 5 times you didn't put up any fight when I'd try to put your pants back on.

So what did I think about you? Well, you're trying really hard to communicate. Every day we'd talk with me asking you questions such as Are you hungry, are you thirsty? Bathroom, do you want mama? 

Now here's the thing. You are connected to mama at the hip. Which makes things a little harder if she goes outside to pain the tool shed or do the laundry or just go relax on the couch while I keep you occupied. So you get mad quickly because of it. Not a bad thing. 

I'm so happy that you are so interested in everything. Which makes my and mama's life a little more frustrating, because you can hurt yourself so easily! Mom is better at it than me, but that's because I haven't really taken care of children before more than half a day for family or friends.

But now I know a lot more. So whenever there's a fire and you are going towards it I know not to trust you implicitly and I'll run to grab you before you try to touch it. That actually happened and mom was so upset with me.

I learned a lot about you this time around.

Here's what I think you have interests in so far: dancing! You dance so much. So we'll definitely try to see what kinds of dance you'd like to do. By the way, I got a cardboard box and tried to have you breakdance: it didn't work! 

You rub your eyes when you're tired. You get really cranky when you're tired too! I'll still be making jokes and trying to make you laugh but you're so tired that you just smile a little.

You're not a fan of socks. You take them off any chance you can!

You're not a fan of chicken, but I think it's cause your chomper teeth are not in yet. We'll try again later. You love meatballs! 

You're at the stage where everything goes in your mouth right now.  You put a marker in your mouth, you started biting everything, you even bit your book. I took a picture of the little gnaw marks you did cause it was such a surprise to me. I was sitting on the couch looking at my phone and all of a sudden I hear what sounds like an a rodent eating wood. I look over and you've got this smile and the top of the book in your mouth. By the way, you love phones too! You have a few toy phones and your grandmother's old flip phone and it's so fun to watch you play and make calls.

You're a fan of brooms and dustpans! You can barely hold the broom upright but you get a kick out of dad pushing leaves off the back porch.

Also, you love spray chemicals to clean the house. I had to pull these away from you so many times!

You love spaghetti and meatballs. But you make such a mess! I seemed to have to clean up after you while you're eating to keep up with your after meal adventures!

Oh and you like pomegranates. I brought some over from your Uncle Edward from Altadena. I gave them to you one at a time and you love the pop that happens when you bite into one with your front teeth. I think you like the sweet tart juice too.

So that's what I learned about you.

My question to you is: What do you know about me now? 

I know I'm wrong sometimes. And I'm okay with it. If I'm okay with it, why am I talking about it today?

Because so many people out there forget to be okay with being wrong.

If I'm not right, the whole world isn't right is the mentality that's out there. 

But it's not right. 

Saying sorry isn't just 2 words I'm sorry and that's it. It means What you have to do is look at the whole situation and access it. Look into yourself and them and find out what happened, how it happened, and come up with a sincere way to help someone heal. A lot of times all it takes is saying the words. 

Now saying the words isn't always the end all. Some people feel badly hurt or whatever and you have to show you actually mean it. But apologizing is the start. It shows that that person accepts you for your faults and wants you both to succeed as family, friends, lovers, co-workers etc. This is your chance to actually make amends.

Saying you're wrong doesn't make you A) a bad person B) that you are always wrong. It just means you want to work on yourself and are taking steps to do the right thing. 

Apologizing isn't a cure-all. But it shows humility. Try it.

What happens when someone doesn't accept your apology? Or makes you want more than what you've offered as an apology? Walk away. If they can't understand that you want to make amends and they are pushing you to do more, then that's not a true relationship. It's a 'What can you do for me?' type of association. 

True relationships are built on trust and respect. If someone makes a mistake, then forgiveness is generally the logical repair. If that person can't forgive or won't forgive, then that's them.

If this person never says they're sorry themselves or they have to be pushed to say it, then this is not you it's them. This person is in a world of hurt and as a defense is a jerk or super opinionated and critical of everything. If you are giving out redundent apologies all the time to the same person, I want you to assess why this is happening. Are you feeling sorry that they are always upset? Are you really at fault? I want you to question your situations. Sometimes the best way to apologize is not be that person's friend. Even if hurts you and you have to say sorry to yourself for it.

Because it's better on you to not be shamed or hurt over someone else's hangups. 

But that's only if you've seen yourself as not in the wrong but as the person that is doing their all to make things right and it's still not enough for the other party involved.

I'm not an apologetic but I do apologize when I'm wrong. And I'm okay with that. 

My question to you is: What's a situation you wished you could apologize for if you could?

I'm not the most humble. But I'm going to try to be a good dad and teach you about being humble. So in 99% of everything I've told you, it's been more Do as I've done and not what I've said. But being humble is a disorienting project to deal with. 

I try to be humble. But sometimes it's hard. I'm a bit of an ego-maniac too. So a humble ego-maniac? 

I don't know. Here's what I do know. 

Your mom wanted a baby and a family. Well, I gave her my seed so she could have that dream. At least some of it. I'm so sorry it didn't work out as family but traditional family seems very dark ages now anyway, so you're welcome. I hope you're smiling and laughing at my dumbass. I like to have fun. So yeah, it's rooted in reality but the truth is, life is what we make it. 

Here's more about what i know:

A little bit about the majority of things in political, medical, and biology, art, music, mechanical engineering, architectural design, production of films, roles in society, and so forth.

I read a lot. What can I say? 

I read, I observe, and I seek the truth. 

Knowing so much has taught me the art of humbleness because I don't know everything and likely knowing all knowledge is not possible as long as we are all separate as a people. Now we could hivemind but that would make our species easily destroyable. So not knowing everything is actually a good thing. 

So I stay humble until I can't. Sometimes it comes out of me at the worst times. 

Well, for you, you gotta think about being humble. Why? Nobody likes jackasses like me when they get on their high horse. 

Which is why I try to stay grounded. I'm jumping into my own brain here while I reach for thoughts about how humble is too humble? Should I scream at the top of my lungs that I'm the most humble man? 

Should I never tell anyone? Should everyone know? Is everyone's opinion necessary for me to feel like a humble man, even though I toe the line at times.

I have to think a lot. In my own mind the majority of the time I must make decisions. Part of that decision making is thinking about perception. And I believe that's where the egomaniac comes in. I'm in my head and it's not always easy to not think. I'm sure there's others out there that can literally be blank but for me to turn off has never happened. I'm always on. I can't be off. What does this have to do with being humble? 

The amount of humbleness comes from yourself. Me? I'm a bit of a jackass. And a jester. So I take my ego with a bit of cheeky idealism. Yes, I know my strengths my weaknesses my false idolness of myself and what it means to be who I am. This is me. You are you. If you're not humble or you're not an egoist and you're a regular person, it doesn't mean you or I are wrong or good or bad or right. It's just how you present yourself. 

Some people don't think about it, I do. And with it comes a sense of irony with that pride of who I am and what I'm capable of. I'm not actually one extreme but I am aware of myself and surroundings.

I was talking to Faith, your cousin, my brother's daughter. She's 18/19 now. We were talking about school and career, you know the things that guide us to what we want out of our goals. Anyway, I mentioned that I'm the smartest person alive. Hahahaha. And we were talking about my dad, her grandpa, and somehow it got on about how he was so smart. That's where I get it from. Mom was brilliant in her own way and logical so that's where we get that logic from. She studied computer programming in college. Just FYI. So logic and creativity from her. Our headstrongness from my dad. So look at me, look at your mom and see why you're not always humble but most of the time you can be, and why you are not a show-off but once in a while you can be. 

It's interesting how we got here. You're part me and part your mom. I want you to know your past so you can live in the present and create your future.

I wish I didn't have to tell anyone how cool I am. It's not cool to brag, right? Well I guess I'm uncool. I'm okay with that too. What I'm not cool with is braggart. I just want to have a good mixture I'm there. 50 50.

My question to you is: You must know, so what keeps you from telling everyone all the time about how likable you are? 

Talk about myself? Don't I already do that? Yes. But this time it's a little more story time. It's got a beginning, a middle, and an end. Listen close, cause you're gonna get a kick out of it!

Daughter: You seem like a social butterfly already so I'm happy, but somewhere along the way, there's opportunities for other people to hinder your desire to tell your own thoughts towards your opinions in a constructive manner. That's why I came up with this for you. My mom used to tell me stories and this is me continuing that tradition. Except my stories can be a lot more glum or scary but the ending is usually hopeful.

So here it it goes: My upbringing and how not being able to talk to my parents hindered my social outward personality and I had to re-learn it as an adult.

This is how I've heard things: Don't be best friends with your wife, don't be best friends with your kids. They need to know where the relationship stands. To me, that's hyper-masculine bullshit. I'm not a fan. 

I consider myself a decent leader. I'm nowhere near perfect as a leader. But you know what? Knowing that fact helps me be a better leader for the future generations. And I'm imparting my knowledge with you right now so you can impart your knowledge with others.

How it started:

I wasn't really able to talk to my parents. I grew up seeing them as the enemy. The ones who would rat me out.

Or the ones that didn't approve of what I wanted to do. My dad who wasn't truly there I'd say around age 6. So I guess I'm lucky he was there at first but I don't really remember him in my school-age years. Largely though he wasn't someone I could really talk to. I'm sure he liked me and I liked him but we were more associates than anything. Sharing stories is how I connect with people and I rarely heard his stories. It sadens me knowing that he's an enigma to this day and since he's dead, I can only get bits and pieces from family who is still alive. 

It's not that they were bad parents 100%, though they definitely weren't going to win any awards for Parents of the Year. It's just that they were not really on my side. I know they wanted me to be a success, and I know they pushed for me to get educated. Which most brown parents seem to have wanted at the time.

About the same age, I was 12 or 13, I found a weird piece of metal on the street and carried it around. It looked like a wine corkscrew. It looked cool to me.

My mom found it in my room and asked me what it was. I told her I didn't know and she thought it was a slimjim to break into cars or something. She made me go to the police station and I had to tell a cop all this information that I didn't know anything about. He told me that if he found out it was used to do any break ins I'd be in trouble. But the whole time I was telling him I didn't know. This made me think my mom was a rat. She would rather talk to the cops than to hide her son from the authorities. That's the kind of shit I had to deal with. I didn't trust her to tell her the truth. Trust is a very big thing for all of us. And if the person or persons you are consistently told are your confidants, and then remove that trust, then who do you trust?

Somewhere around the age of 17, my dad pulled me alone and asked if I had $200 to borrow. Said he would pay it back the next Wednesday. He knew I was working a lot and saving my money. I said 'of course you can, you're my dad.' I gave him the cash and didn't worry about it. That Wednesday I came home all bright-eyed because I was going to get my money back. I go up to my dad and say "do you have that money you owe me?" and he said words that changed my POV for life. He said, "What money?" and that was the biggest lesson I ever learned. I still mess up about it from time to time but for the most part, if my own dad could screw me out of $200 that I worked minimum wage for and back then $200 was like $2Million dollars to me. It was part of my life savings. 

How it's going:

I tend to be hopeful about humankind. So now I don't trust anybody too much when first meeting, especially on considerations that could hurt me or my friends. I tend to hope for the best. But if someone like my own mom or dad could send me to the authorities or steal from me, then no one can really be trusted. And that's what I'm trying to say: Trust, but trust yourself first.

So even if someone is very close to me and needs help, I put my faith in myself first, be kind, but don't trust others like you'd want to be trusted with things like that. If I ever give someone money now or help them, it's literally charity work. I don't see it as anything less or anything more. Pity, playing the lottery of someone getting their shit together and paying it forward, or even lucky me I get a favor back someday. If I have to ask for any help, it's because I didn't spend time coming up with a solution I could do myself. 

At first I want to believe anybody I meet, but I never make a hasty decision with things that could backfire on me. I trust some people because they've shown me they can be trusted over time. But my real trust is in myself. I know that I'm trustable or at least good enough and that I'm not trying to actively screw people over or snitch on them or hurt them or steal from them. We all do these things either by accident or quick decisions that backfire, because we're all trying to survive. Some more than others but generally we'll know that if someone does something once, they likely won't change unless they do it and show it. 

This podcast is I guess you could say therapy for me. Is it always popular no? Is it always in the right? No. But it's presented as what it is no more no less. I'm doing this for you and I'm doing this for myself. I'm doing it for others that are listening and might not have anyone to trust or haven't gone to therapy. My friend and I used to have Rant n Rave sessions. Just a way to let off some steam and also share what's good with our lives. And I urge you to tell me what's going on - either the good or the bad. 

How it's gonna end: 

I've gotten better, through the only means I know: Knowledge and small drops in the bucket to get things done. Nothing is impossible because anything can be achieved with willpower and consistent work towards the goal. I conistently access my situations, the potential outcomes of what I do and how they'll affect not only my life now, but your life too. I know the kind of father I am. I know the kind of person I am. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a bit of a cold-heart that doesn't care about the small details, as long as the species survives. Yes, it's rude to others but it's gold to the family circle, the big picture. Which is a little bit of pain here or there for a better, stronger ties between us later and unwavering trust in the method.

Charli, you're a smart kid, from smart parents who both have to deal with lots of family issues. I've been consistently cutting those family issues out since the year 1981 - the year I was born. Eventually, it'll be my time to relax and rest, and it'll be up to you not to put up with your family's bullshit that keeps you clingy or so attached that you can't let go and be free to find your own path. That's my dream for you and everyone out there. Grow out of the caterpillar phase, be the butterfly and soar. 

My question to you is: If you find you were taught to do things one way and you found a way on your own to do the same thing better, how would you tell the person that taught you without hurting their feelings?

I ask this because I have to do it, and I want you to help me find ways not to hurt so many feelings. 

"Hello everybody, I'm Dena Derakhshan and this is Podcasting to My Daughter. Today's topic that I'm going to talk non-stop about.. Tipping Upfront.

Let me get this out of the way: This is a "Current Event" topic that everyone should listen to and talk about. 

Something I just realized, and it's mostly because I don't go out enough to notice things. I go out once a week or once every other week, generally. Some girlfriends hate it until they realize what better food we make at home but that's one of my previous topics Food Episode 1 and 2. So what happened was I went to pay for me and my friend's coffee the other day and before the transaction was done they were asking me to tip for service. I started to question this tactic. Why tip now? There's no need to tip beforehand. A tip is asked before service is even started is absolutely ludicrous. There's a problem here.

I should say this: I tip well. Well above the 20% usually. Here's why: I've never waited tables. And I count myself lucky that I didn't do that as a job growing up. My dad had a few restaurants growing up, but I was always a cook or dishwasher or sweeping outside kind of gig. 

I overtip generally unless the service has been poor. I'm not looking to tip anyone that isn't willing to fake being a happy person for below minimum wage while taking my order or delivering my overpriced restaurant food to me. The job is to be nice and be the face of the company. I'm talking about tipping as a value. The person was nice or likable or actually did a good job. They created value and that's why I'm tipping them. Why won't I tip upfront?

Because it's not my job to make a living wage and then make a living wage for complete strangers. It's the job of the company to do that. If the company isn't willing to do it, they need to get out of the rat-race of becoming a oligarchy.

I was reading that most businesses and startups are shady in one way or another because they're not profitable until a lot of money is happening. The bootstraps and startups that get Venture Capital money to toss around don't count. The real small business owner - the ones I root for - are not making a true living themselves. They have to pay for work wages, capital, advertising, and it's all a risk. I know the risk because I've lost a lot of capital trying new businesses and only marginal successes here and there. What I'm trying to say is that small business medium business and big business need to shape up and pay people what they're worth. In the day in age that money can be printed on laserjet printers or 3D printed or hacked quietly from banks, there's no reason for me to take care where the business has either gotten greedy or lazy or just can't cut it as a thriving project.

I won't ever tip upfront and I urge you not to either. Not until I see that the person has done a fantastic job and they deserve it, not because they have shitty employers who don't pay them enough and now they expect me to pay more for their quite-average product and then pay their employees wages. Fuck you Coffee shops, Fuck you pizza places's, Fuck you middle-man convenience apps that overcharge anyway, Fuck anywhere anyplace that tips are required for the person to survive off of. 

No fuck you's: To the actual employees themselves. To employees listening, I want you to know I support you and want you to thrive and be happy.

To recap: 

Tipping was given to someone that did exeptional. Now it's setup by the electronic machines and gives you which option to tip. It's an extra button to press not to tip. I feel like this is backwards. There should be an option to tip but otherwise just sign here. 

My question to you is: What will businesses do once tipping is gone altogether? How do you envision the new world? 

How do I talk about things like being smarter and trying to stay humble? I mean this is about you Charli, because we've already noticed your depth and grasp of learning, association, and using these tools to further your own development. As a parent I'm very humbled and proud. So how do I talk about being smart while trying to stay humble? Misdirection. If you haven't heard the episode on being humble go right now and have a listen!

How's that for misdirection? 

Here's the deal. Since I've been a very young child, I've been accused of being smart. I say accused because I don't consider myself smart the older I get. I like to think I have brilliant MOMENTS more than being a smart person. Your mom called me an idiot savant once. But I kinda consider myself quite dumb. Instead of spending my life pursuing medicine or curing disease I decided to be a writer. Instead of a regular job that I could've retired at 40 I decided on a path of the most resistance. I didn't finish college. But to this day I'm still considered an intelligent being. I mean, maybe compared to a monkey??

My problems as a 'smart' child was that my parents shunned every mistake I made. Even when I was perfect, they wanted better. All those silly tests in school I scored perfect or close to it, but that still wasn't good enough for them. I want you to know that all I want for you is to try your best. I won't be let down, I'll still be proud of you no matter what. Part of the reason I've continued this podcast is for you to understand that screwing up is normal and not to be looked at as failure, but as a learning opportunity. Don't be afraid of a lot of failure. Embrace it and enjoy it!

Here's the deal:

You're already smart. You're almost 2 years old and it's obvious you can't stop screwing with things to see how they work and what they do. Bloody noses and bruises be damned. It's true. I'm now accusing you of being smart. Consider yourself lucky. Consider it a blessing and a curse. Some days you'll feel everyone is an idiot but you. Some days you'll feel to be the most brilliant person in the Universe. Some days you'll feel like the dumbest person ever. That's all okay. It's okay to feel that way. These are emotions and not intelligence. And that's part of what makes us us. We have to split our emotions and intelligence evenly to find that inner peace. 

The Blessings: Because you'll be able to read and read fast and faster and faster than others, you'll absorb knowledge and thirst for more all the time. You can do things in minutes that takes others hours. Now you have more free time to do what you want. Play video games? Spend time with family? Volunteer? It's all up to you. Don't wanna do anything but stare at the TV all day? Not a problem. One thing I can tell you is you're blessed with the knowledge of time management. It's something that you'll develop and people will not understand how or why. I can tell you how - me. I can tell you why - something in our DNA that has been passed down from generation to generation. So use your blessings. Whatever path that may take you. I keep telling your mom you're gonna be President. I can see you being a benevolent leader among all. Which leads to...

The Curse: You're going to have people jealous of you and they'll try to make fun of you for it. Pay no mind. Be yourself and stand out. You'll have the gift of wit so you can quickly outsmart those that try to hurt you. But know it's lonely at the top. You'll be bored sometimes. Things are just easier for you. I invoke you to challenge yourself. I specifically went after writing and filmmaking because of the horrible odds. Maybe you like horrible odds too, I don't know. I don't know anyone else in the family that has a taste for adventure like I do. But if you want that simple life and not to feel cursed, go for it. Just know that the Curse is also what makes me feel connected to the world. For me to suffer means someone else can feel joy. Maybe it's you that gets the joy. I'm hoping. But keep The Curse in mind.

The Desire: Some days you'll wish you didn't have a brain. And that the world would be a better place if you were unable to see what others see. But don't worry. Ignorance is Bliss. It never made for the type of people who persevere and accomplish goals. You're lucky you can see your own pitfalls and accomplishments and make decisions based on those instead of just willy-nilly doing things. That's them, this is you. Realize that you and your giant brain have the ability to help others, even if they don't know they need it. They don't need to know you send them anonymous money or help their business get started because they don't understand advertising or branding or marketing or don't research all sorts of topics to know your world you live in better. Or that they don't know that spelling things incorrectly creates distrust by consumers. Or that you can heal them without them needing to go far and away and that the answer is close by - all connected by the minds of everyone in a connected network of computers. Maybe you'll be a computer scientist? That's all you can do though. It seems like an impossible task but it's a daily task. Like brushing your teeth or flossing. Help others, because they can't help themselves. Help yourself whenever opportunity arises. Sieze the day and do something good for yourself and others. Because your brain knows when others are unhappy and can feel everyone's pain all day and all night. So you have to turn that desire on low to be able to sleep at night, knowing you can't do it all alone. Make good friends that you trust implicitly. They will be your shoulder to cry on when you know the task at hand is too big for one person, but you still want to keep trying, because you want the best for not just yourself and those close to you, but for everyone. Keep that desire. Keep telling others that hope is not lost. That separate we only fight each other and together we can persevere.

My question to you is: What are you going to do after you've solved Peace?

I'm annoyed by a few handfuls of old people. I don't hate these specific old people but it got me thinking about my own feelings towards old people who act a certain way. This could also just be people in general. 

This is a bit of a rant. So buckle up.

I've had to deal with a family member recently that pissed me off. This person is 70 years old and holding onto the old ways of doing things, which has made their life a living hell and in turn, needed help dealing with something and her way of not respecting the current or standard ways got us into conflict that could not be resolved. We no longer talk. 

Here's my stance on the situation: You better keep evolving forever or die. Sounds tough right? Keep on keeping on. This is not about age, it's about adapting and always loving learning - even if you're no longer prime. 

Here's an impersonation of what I hear when an old person tells me they won't do things the way that things are handled nowadays:

"Oh no I'm so old I'm not going to try anymore." That's pretty much giving up. I mean why aren't you just jumping off of a bridge and ending it? Seriously, if you can't do one thing right, which is keep learning you might as well just give up your whole life, because your life you're just sitting around doing nothing, being stagnant. You have to actually be motivated to learn new things and figure things out how to stay current. That's what life is. It's living! You can't say "oh I'm old and it's done, time for me to just sit back and relax." No. Cause that is somebody that has just given up and said they want things to be the way they used to be, but that's not the way the universe works. Remember? The only constant is change? Yeah, that still stands. You have to constantly be evolving, you have to constantly keep going, even if your senior years old. You have to keep pressing on. If you're not moving forward you're standing still and decaying. I have a friend who is 50 years old and never looked into using a computer and doesn't scrape by with a cell phone. I have to remind him that these things have been around since the 1970s/1980s and aren't going away. New tech is always coming out and unless you know you have less than a year of life left, you better hop on it. Otherwise, you're just left behind. So if I have to tell you one thing: Don't let yourself get passed by. Appreciate what life has to offer and take it, see how you can benefit from these ways of doing things!

What is it about old people that just give up? I'm officially old now. But I could not see myself taking it easy and staying in one spot. I expect to spend the remaining years of my life pursuing passions, like local government or finally learning to play trumpet or immersing myself in Virtual Reality because that's what's gonna be near perfect by the time I'm 70 or 80 if not sooner. 

The old people I've been cursed to deal with are literally saying, "Well I only have 20 to 40 more years left of my life I'll just stop doing everything." I cannot for the life of me, see myself ever giving in and saying, "Hey I'm old and I'm not going to keep up." 

The people that say "oh I don't know how to use a phone's apps", or "I don't know how to use a computer"... These are people that are absolutely given up on life of today. These are the people we coyly remark that they were born in another time. Cowboys and Indians, or Vikings, but really; they're Neanderthals. There is no way that they will ever ever do anything from that day forward that they gave up. When they said "No I'm not going to learn how to use a computer, I'm not going to learn how to use a phone, I'm not going to learn how to use a touch screen, I'm stuck in my old ways and I refuse to change," They've essentially said they aren't teachable. Well I have news. We all can be teachable to be better. Practice makes perfect. Some things take longer than others, and there are many ways to learn. I'm a Visual Learner. If I don't see it, or try by testing it out, it's hard for me. Maybe these people are better by being told what to do, or they need charts or graphs or infographics. Maybe they need to see someone else use it and reap benefits. They can't just be told that it works and just to do it.

Don't get me wrong: There have always been these types. These are the type of people that have never stopped pretending to be past the age of 18 when they were in high school. They think everything should stay the same. To them it's the world that's wrong but it's not them that's wrong. I don't hate old people, but old people are generally the ones I've encountered who are not willing to give it a go! I want people to find happiness, that are absolutely not listening to anything but their own stupid selves. The fact that they could even consider giving up and saying "no thanks", as a techie person I am always so sad when I see people that think like that. Who did these people look up to? Do they ever look deep into the sky at night and ponder their existence? Do they ever wonder what the possibilities are? Do they just think that everything should be done manually forever even when automation was introduced? Well, you know what I have to tell them? You drive a car, you use gas or heat for your stove that is a product of automation, but you're not willing to use other better tools to better your time on this planet? You're stuck in the 80s and I don't mean 1980, I mean 1280. You'll never get past there because some stupid thought you have that you can't get rid of is that how you want to live your life. How you want to imagine your life is getting better, or have you just given up on getting better as a goal and you just live in your own little shell of a world, and anything that goes into that shell you're not happy with because that's against the grain of what keeps you happy? Well, let me tell you that's not normal, that's mental. The fact that you have to even consider that regular, shows that you need help. Can I help you? I hope I can. Keep listening. And don't be afraid to ask for help. But only if you need it. If you struggle, don't just sit there in your own puddle of tears. I don't know what it is, but you do need some help and it takes courage to be able to ask for help. Use that courage to say, "hey, will you show me how to do this?" and people like me, who love seeing others succeed, will take the time and commitment because we'll see that you have the desire. The truth is everyone has the desire. It's just not everyone that does anything about it. Most just spin their wheels until they don't roll anymore. Well, that's not you, right? You're not some sad sack. You're a person with feelings and you want to be happy. Do something about it!

Why having a kid was the best thing that ever happened to me. If I didn't have a kid now I wouldn't be pushing for my goals as hard as I am now. I realized that if this child AKA you is to grow up and see me as who I am and saw me as a person that just gave up, you might give up when all hope seems lost. I can't have that on my conscience.

You has to know that they're every morning I wake up and I think I have to do this not for myself for my kid for my next of kin for my future for the future generations. Before her I was taking my sweet time getting things done. Because it didn't matter I could go at a snail's pace as long as I got there eventually. But with a child comes responsibility and I needed to be the responsible go-getter that I always have been, I just needed the motivation and you're my motivation every day.

So the fire under my ass to get me running was you. Look, I was on the fence about kids. I mean, yes, I wanted to have a kid, but I was very much thinking I could be one of those guys that was super-selfish and stayed a bachelor his whole life. 

Some evenings, I sit on my recliner or on my bed, just relaxing. And I spend time thinking about you, hoping you're okay and that you're mom hasn't lost her mind. She's got the tough job of watching over you, while I'm more a 'show up and hang out with you' kind of father right now. It is what it is, but I'm sure in a perfect setting I can be the one pulling my hair out at the constant attention you need. 

I wanna tell you about the things I've been doing since I've known about you. Just so you know that I am making things happen.

Lets's see. Since I found out you were going to be a thing, I've been putting away a small chunk of change towards your college education. If you decide to go, it'll be there for you. It's a blue-chip stock that I'm investing in for you, and with a little luck, it'll bring in some extra funds towards what I'm putting in and you can either have your college paid for, or a good chunk of it paid for, so it'll be a little easier for you to follow your dreams. Now, the question I have is, what if you decide to be a punk rock singer and don't need an education? Well, for one, it wouldn't hurt for you to take singing lessons and finesse those skills you've learned. Heck, if you've listened to ANY of these podcasts, what's one thing I've tried to teach you? Knowledge and learning are pathways to fulfillment in any direction.

Let's see... I'm currently living in a bachelor pad apartment. It's good for a single person. And I've lived here for almost 10 years now. Maybe a full decade. Either way, I'm moving into a one bedroom apartment or condo or townhome or one bedroom house soon. So that way you can stay here with me. I've been living very humbly and putting away funds that are untouchable, except for a big purchase such as this. I've also taken my single family house in Oklahoma City and putting it into a Trust, so that way, at least legally, if I ever were to get sued or anything like that, I can't be hit, because on paper I have nothing. This is the way it's got to be so that you are always safe. I should've done this a long time ago anyway but I was slacking, because it just didn't need to get done at that time.

Let's see... Oh, so if something were to happen to me such as death or something else, I put a small life insurance policy in your name. It's not much but it should help take care of you for a little while. A big thing is I don't think a month or two ahead only. I try to reach for decades in the future. I highly advise you to do it too. Because, I feel set. I've done my responsibilities as much as I can because of the circumstances, and with it, I've got you taken care of. 

Let's see... Your Uncle Matt and I have talked about what to do in case of me disappearing. Please reach out to him, and he'll tell you the plan. 

Let's see... I've basically gotten all your clothing needs and toys taken care of for the next 4 to 5 years. My family or friends have children who are just a little older than you. So prepare to get a lot of clothing, toys, and whatever else is there. Right now, I send you a care package every month or so. 

Let's see... I've been looking at starting a business that I can work from home in addition to the filmmaking and writing. I want to make sure in times of famine or feast, that I can provide for you. Sometimes it's harder in the creative world, but I think the trajectory of where I'm going is worth it for you.

Let's see... I have some big goals. These weren't necessarily goals that came up before you were around, but I've finessed them to include you. I'm working to get a house out here. Nothing huge or fancy in the plans yet, but I now consider schools in the area when looking at what's available. I want you to have the opportunities available in case you have interests. 

That's about it off the top of my head. I'm still doing things that slackers do. I'll never stop. But my new renewal on living is to live through you. It's my vision that the world we live in is better and better for every generation. And I want you to be the 2nd line, because I've lived a great life and I'm very grateful for every little thing that's come my way. And I hope that you will enjoy these hundreds and thousands of years of work that have been put to progress to make people like you have better lives. And I'm not just talking longer lives, I'm talking quality of life.

So yeah, I feel as the adult, the father, the man who watches over you, I'm doing the right things. Mostly. 

So thanks baby. And you're welcome. I love you.

Problematic people. Jackasses of the world. Look, I’m just a regular person. I’m just a regular Danny. But I feel like I have something: which is that I don’t fuck things up for others. I don’t text while driving because I don’t want to crash into someone. I don’t cheat people because they work hard to have nice things, I think about others when looking for issue management. I’m not perfect, but I try to be a regular Dan. Like, just a little bit thought process about how my actions will change what happens if I do things one way or another. It’s actually really simple, right? 

There’s a lot of problematic people in the world. The jerks, the jackasses, the bullies. It’s likely always been this way. And it is very slowly getting better, at least it is to my positive mindset. And usually I don’t get too bothered by people, because I know there’s many types in the world. But occasionally I’ll see someone on the airplane and their phone ringer goes off once we’re departing and they actually answer the phone. And, after so many times for the pilot and attendants say to turn off your phone or put it on airplane mode until we get at flying steadily into the air levels. Like, they’re so arrogant or stupid - and either way I don’t like them - these are the ones that they can’t be arsed to put their phone on airplane mode when told it's for safety of every life on the plane. They need to be tended to children. Like babies. But even babies understand simple directives. It’s literally simple things that people who read and have thinking skills past a 2 year old can do.

We have the best and the brightest out there right now fighting to save our kind, but we have to adhere to the lowest denominator to keep the species going forward - just in case. Now here’s the rub: Without a mass self-genocide can we continue on, knowing that not everyone is a contributor? Is there meaning to have Neanderthals in the current era and beyond? Are they even relevant in today’s world?  Will we still need these types in the future? 

And that brings up another question: Should we be contributors? Does living a life mean having contributed? To me I feel it’s necessary. I honestly can’t imagine living a life that does and is not bring value to and of the reality we all share. It’s like that saying, leave it better than you found it. I truly enjoy thinking about leaving this world behind in better condition. And I mean that as the people, the places, the things of this world. 

And it makes me wonder. Are we actually going forward fast enough? Is a brisk walk or a crawl towards that Utopia actually okay? Am I just impatient? Or is everything actually going on time? Is there any use in trying to speed things up?

Do we need regret in life? Do we need the problems to solve? The problems are something of a hindrance to why we aren't going forward at breakneck speeds. We have a head and a tail.  Can we chop off the tail? And still be just as strong? I wonder. I wonder these things a lot. 

I didn’t know I was going to be a writer and philosopher. I thought I was gonna make some Spielberg type movies and drive around in a Lamborghini, live in a fancy gated mansion, and just enjoy being a fucking cunt. But the truth is, I’m a different kind of cunt. I started writing about big guns and explosions and big muscle-bound men beating the shit out of each other and that’s cool. But it got old fast. Just like those muscle-bound men. 

Charli, I’m sure you’re wondering what am I on? I drink a lot of tea, if that’s what you’re asking.  And to the audience listening: I’m on that progressive dynamic. I don’t like staying still. I need to do things. Big or small, I need to accomplish. I’ve tried not to, and I’ve tried fucking all off to not do it but the absolute truth is, besides all my problems, I have to solve problems. That’s my ultimate goal: Not to have any problems anymore.

And these people that are dummies of the world are problems. Most have no clue they are dummies. And I know I’m a dummy. And I think knowing you’re a dummy is the first part of the solution. It’s letting go of those ideas that you’re this great being. It’s letting go of ego. It’s saying “Hey, I’m a fuckup, and it’s because of my fuckup prior generations. And I’m likely going to continue being a fuckup. But I will make improvements to my fuckups every single day I wake up it’s a choice it’s another chance to make things right. And from there, I may have the chance to solve not only my problems AKA fuckups, but also guide others to do the same.

You see what I’m saying? You can be a dummy and be beautiful. You can be a failure and still have some wins. If you are a dummy listening, and I’m pretty sure all of you are, because we’ve all got the same space dust in us: It’s never too late to stop being problematic. You can turn the page, you can flip the coin, you can open another door. 

This new, the younger generation that can't be bothered by people making life tougher for the rest of us is what I’m hoping to achieve with what I’m talking about. 

Anonymously anonymity alignment by these incredible life-hackers, they’re staying out of the public eye of who they actually are. That's power. That's sanity. That's the good of people on their own and in groups. 

But there’s also the anonymity:  the old days of AOL usernames. I grew up with that. So I’ve understood it. And truthfully I’ve participated in it, one as the antagonist, and two as a guide to greatness. These days it’s a lot less antagonizing. 9gag, redditors, and those types of sites have pseudonyms and about half the time it’s a lot of racist, sexist, homophobic content by those that feel they aren’t heard. But really they’re just not paid attention to, except for others that want to start some sort of war. I don’t want to deal with any of those people. So I just want to come up with a better solution to mass mouths speaking about nothing on and on again.

WHAT’S MY ADVICE: 

So here’s my vision. We systematically educate, empower, and guide everyone to do what’s needed for the Utopia. They hear the music, they watch the TV shows, they read the books, they whisper among themselves and eventually, without them knowing, we make them one of us. So it’s the opposite of a genocide or a planned extinction of all humans, which is what problematic people is the beginning of. It’s the opposite of all that. It’s a strengthening of a muscle that isn’t used, and hopefully there hasn’t been atrophy. 

We don’t collapse the civilization, we grow it, we strengthen it, we turn problems into solutions. 

What am I doing? Well, for one, I made this podcast. It’s general, it’s not specific. It’s to get you, the listener, to think, and the more of us that think, the more of us that can come up with the brightest ideas to keep problems at bay. All you have to do is not be one. And the first step is realization that you are one. Then you can begin the healing.

I want to thank you for listening to my solutions to problematic people. 

So today what I'm going to talk about is me coming out to hang out with your you and your family for your third birthday. So you actually became three you absolutely deny being 3 years old is probably the funniest thing in the world because I don't think you understand time just yet but you do understand that every day is a chance to do something new which I really love that about you by the way speaking about love you understand the word love for now. I had told you I love you everyday at least a few times when I saw you because I do love you and I want you to know that I love you I tried not to tell you I love you so much but every time I see you and spend time with you and learn something new about you it fills my heart with so much joy that I immediately tell you I love you and then I say oh I wasn't supposed to tell you I love you I don't want to be that dad that's telling you I love you 500 times a day because then the word loses meaning but I think right now it's okay. And I think you like it because nearing the end of the time that I was with you you came up to Mom and said mama I love baba June. It was surreal to hear it I don't ever need to hear it again because I know you love me because I hold you and protect you as I should. It made me so happy it also made me realize how far we have to go together I'm still learning this father thing it's my first rodeo you know so I'm making mistakes I let you watch SpongeBob when your mom said she didn't want you to watch it but she had really just said no I don't want you to watch SpongeBob at that moment I didn't realize she didn't want you to watch it ever or at least for the next few years or whatever. The point is I don't exactly know but you're getting older and you're less susceptible to injuries like you wear as a baby so you're actually growing and I feel very confident about your ways and the fact that you have a really good chance at living a long life. So for your birthday party you were surrounded by your family and by that I mean you're Latin Latina Latin x family. I'm proud of you having Latin mixed heritage with your Persian heritage, your Native American heritage, and you're also some form of European, that your mom doesn't know exactly what. And that's what I really realized that you are Mexican descent. My job is accomplished I've always liked Latin people and I find the Latin women attracted so I did what I wanted to without really thinking that I was doing what I was doing but I basically started a family with a Latin woman even though we're not on paper married or anything like that we are a family unit. As much as I can be blunt with her and wish for her to be better I do love her and I love you and it's quite a ride. Did you know that John Wayne was obsessed with Latin women as well? Just a weird coincidence because I was talking about John Wayne in another episode a few episodes back. Because the Persians were all about the John Wayne TV shows and movies and that's why they wanted to be with the cowboys that's why they moved out to the middle of nowhere as well as the universities that were located in Oklahoma and easier to get into for the Persian immigrants. So yeah you are let and you are Persian. Accept it embrace it acknowledge it. So I just want to talk about you being three for a minute You are trying to figure out how to express your emotions and you really can't quite do it just yet but you are trying everyday every single day you are trying and it's so wonderful I know that when you're screaming and you're angry you're not actually angry at us you're just trying to figure out how to express levels of disappointment or being able to express how you don't want to do something or you're not understanding why we have to do something like go to bed at a certain time even though you want to stay up and play with Mama and baba all night long. Even though Mama and Baba are tired and ready to go to bed haha

I want you to know that you have potential to do greatness. And also you're very very loving. I think that's one of the best parts about you when I see how caring you are how you don't have to be this caring but you are. You can be really angry but you'll still offer a blueberry to eat for somebody because you want to share what brings you happiness with others and I think that's beautiful. I know I'm going back and forth on a lot of things but I'm just wanting to tell you how wonderful that is that you are so caring. Never lose that about yourself because that's something that we need more of in this world.

We did a lot of things over this time I was there for 9 days and one day of travel 12 hours each way. We did a lot though we went swimming together I pulled your wagon with you in it and we had fun We came up with a new word called "bumpies" which is me pulling the wagon over rocks to make it like a roller coaster for you You're really enjoyed that and we'd go visit your grandpa we'd go visit your mom and say hi and they would splash you with water because they were doing their gardening by the way where you're living now is basically a farm branch in the middle of nowhere It's so interesting 

I wonder how you're going to grow up because you're going to know how to grow plants and be extremely self-sufficient in case of emergencies you'll have you know months supply of food because you know when you live kind of on a desolate area which is not there's 4,000 people there but you'll understand to pack away for a rainy day kind of environment. Which I like that a lot because that's how I think as well. What else did we do oh so I had my laptop out and you came in the living room and said you wanted to play on the laptop you you brought your laptop and then we were sitting across from each other playing on our computers and then I had the great idea I was like hey there's probably a computer game I enjoy computer games why don't I show you the computer game and we found something that was made for toddlers so we played this chicken game it's not even really a game game

 but it got you to learn how to use a trackpad on a laptop which by the way you did fantastic Your coordination is quite good for 3 years old I was very impressed I didn't think you'd really be able to do it and you were figuring it out I had to use words I was like slide your finger around press the button to pressing you pretty much figured out but the slide thing took a little bit of time before you were able to but you did really good it was very impressive. Now when you were playing the game and chickens with hatch out of oh by the way you hate when I was telling you that you said baby chickens and I said yeah they're called chicks right You hated it you absolutely could not stand being told that there was a different word for chickens and I was trying to explain it to you and you were having none of it That was something that really made me smile because I was trying to teach you a little bit and it just wasn't happening but I think you'll figure it out You're very interesting because you like to say no that's not right that's not how it is but I don't think you actually know 

I wish I could understand what you were saying some of the times because you do you don't babble as a baby but you are still figuring out speech and speaking to you is very rewarding because you pick things up so quickly but you pick up things randomly as well You know you always say got it or that was easy things like that and I wonder where you got it because I don't know if I ever said that was easy or if you said that you picked it up to TV or your mom said it I don't know exactly what but either way it was very rewarding watching you and engaging with you. I think my favorite time with you was playing puzzles with you. 

I got you this 24 piece floor puzzle which I didn't realize was a floor puzzle I was putting it up on the counter cause I measured it and it was two feet by 3 ft and then your mom comes in and says that's you know that's a floor puzzle I said what I was like oh great now I have to get on the floor cause and you know I'm getting older so like I'm trying not to be on the floor as much as possible trying not to bend over as much fun to try to save my back but we did it for you and here's the thing see your brain how it works was so cool I was trying to push you to do things and your mom said you're neurons are firing You're figuring things out and you really were because you can outer pieces of the puzzle You could figure out but the inner pieces you know I want to say male puzzle pieces and the female puzzle pieces The mail pieces you understood go together but the female pieces didn't work so I would have to try to set it up but it didn't click with you at that time. Now you finished that puzzle in about an hour hour and a half and when you completed each puzzle it was a huge celebration for you which I loved it was a you know 24 piece celebration here I guess 12 pieces because you know they're close but anyway I thought that was the end of it right I said wow we completed a puzzle together and she figured it out this is fantastic. That night we were watching a TV cartoon called bluey and I was watching it with you It's a great show The show taught a lot It taught us that let people figure things out I didn't quite realize that when we were doing the puzzle I was kind of pushing things towards each other trying to get you to connect it and I think I did okay I wasn't pushing but I was push guiding I guess would be the right word anyway I learned to let you figure it out Don't hand things to you. Which if you've listened to this podcast at all I've tried to guide you but I need to let you be you and that's what I figured out. well the next day you were like dinosaur puzzle dinosaur puzzle I said okay sure why not You know I figured you'd be bored of it but no you were you were ready to do it now here's the thing the second time around shortened the puzzle time from about an hour and change to 30 minutes. And then I got it You learn something you figured it out it was fun! You were having a good time and learning something and making connections figuratively and literally. I could not be any prouder at that moment of you. And yes I did help a couple of times but this time I let you not by putting the puzzle pieces close together and pointing and saying oh there it is, this time I just let you twist and turn, And if you weren't twisting and turning I'd help you by saying oh twist and turn or I'd say look purple line with a purple line maybe it goes there. Offering suggestions instead of just throwing it out there for you. So you did really well.

Even though I talk about your potential I still actually love you for who you are as a person now. I want to make that very clear. You are already amazing in so many ways and even your things that you're not great at I still love about you there's something that you got to understand and that I had to understand about myself and my relationship with you I love you no matter what I think the chances of you being a serial killer I might not like you but I will still love you because I helped bring you into this world in my small way and part of that makes you a part of me which makes me connected to you no matter what. I love you. Happy third birthday I'm glad I got to spend your birthday with you and I hope to spend more birthdays with you. You're a fantastic child and you're going to grow up to be a fantastic adult very proud of you. 

Love you

Your Baba Joon

Back in ye olde days, there was a lot of untreatable disease. And I think some cunning folks came up with the idea of one person falling in love, fornication and impregnation with one other person until death. 

In reality it rarely works, but we've held onto it for a while.

Nowadays, there's rubber on the penis sex and contraceptives so we don't need these things anymore.

I'm not anti-religion, but I feel old-school religion has served its purpose and no longer necessary for humanity's growth. It's time to leave it or evolve it.

I believe the new religion or as close as we can get to it right now, is through experimentation in life, in partnerships, and in sex.

Questioning all types of love and feelings and desires and trying to see if it works for you.

Now, this does not mean unapologetic sleeping around to me. It means being open to non-commital standard relationships.

It means, being okay if others are not wanting to feel loved by many throughout their lives, but also being non-judgemental if someone has tried different lovers to see if they connect in one form or another.

I know, I know. You're likely thinking I'm some sort of depraved animal in a cage or a hippie. And maybe I am, but it doesn't feel wrong so I must tell my truth.

I don't believe love is being achieved by many factors, including holding onto traditional means. We humans, physically are the same, barely evolved, but our minds have been guided towards something new, something different.

Why do I believe I can give good, factual advice about others?

I've never married, I am a father to a wonderful daughter. I go out to see her almost every month for a 3 day weekend and 2 weeks for her birthday.

I'm not sure about government sponsored marriages haha but I am open to being with someone and doing my best for them everyday and loving them, taking care of them when they need it.

It just makes way more sense.

And I believe that's what makes marriage a bad choice for others these days. It doesn't make sense to go out looking for the right committed relationship only. It attracts scam artists. For the women, it's the men that pretend they're richer than they are, pushing to get her pregnant, that she'll be taken care of for life. Then as soon the sex happens a few times, the men are players for life all of a sudden. A complete 180.

It's the same but in reverse for men. We are told by the woman that she hates drama, hate arguing, doesn't complain. Then as soon as 4 months happens, it's charade is all over.

So I'm advocating for truth. Let's be honest with each other. For the most part, men want sex immediately. Once we're given that, then our hormones are normalized and we can talk to you like normal people again. That's when women should show their anger and drama happenings. Once we see the worst in each other, we know if we can work with each other to come up together.

See how that works? It's a process of trusting each other at our lowest moments and building a life together without the implications of the backhandery happening. 

So modern love to me is being truthful. If I were to meet a woman who has lots of sexual partners, I'm not going to think that there's something wrong with her. I'm happy for her. If I hadn't had lots of sexual partners, I'd hope that I'd experience the same. Ask if she'd help me with my number by one. And go from there.

I'm going to finish this with a story. 

Back in the day, whenever that was, men loved men, women loved women, men loved men and women, women loved men and women, and so forth. It wasn't illegal, it wasn't frowned upon. It was just love.

Somehow, our words and jealousy and bitterness got the best of us. And we lived in the dark ages, even with electricity invented eventually. Then mass information happened and we realized those people were full of themselves, making basis of thought on storytelling instead of what's in one's own heart. 

So there's still jealousy and bitterness. It's from lonely people. Like one set of stories commands you: love those neighbors. They need to see a Father treat them with respect. Without anger. And to let them know that their feelings are okay to have. We're not robots yet. We're people.

Show compassion.

I know this is crazy to hear from a cold-hearted man such as myself, but I don't believe I'm fully cold. Maybe I'm just warm-blooded, except during the winter where I'm in need of hot-blooded woman to keep each other warm leveled.

Modern love is contemporary but it's also classic flow of circumstance. The general public needs guidance on love and sex. Share both. Use protection, at least until STDs become less of a concern. 

Or at least, just be open to what reality is when it comes to dating: Right now, both men and women overcompensate their boring lives to try to attract the opposite sex when they don't need to. They both can just be who they really are, without the societal pressures, and just be happy with each other if they like each other. Take it one day at a time and go on adventures. Some adventures stop but some adventures go on.